We Aren't Broken and We Don't Need Fixing

It is easier to say something is wrong with us than to talk about all the things that are right with us. So long as we think something is wrong with us, we are then able to make excuses for all the reasons why something is or isn’t working out for us. As long as we are able to make the excuses sound valid enough, no one will question, including ourselves, why we’re still at point A when really where we want to be, is at point B. Between point A, where we are currently and point B, where we really want to be are these silly things called thoughts getting in our way. These thoughts, whether we want to admit it or not, are the vehicle driving our lives. We have so many of them, we don't even stop to question if they are true or not. We’ve let our minds go on auto-pilot, thinking at will what we want to think, validating and accepting as fact the ones that solidify and make certain our beliefs. It is these thoughts that are getting in our way. 

I use to diagnose myself with low self esteem and social anxiety. So long as I had either of these, I could make excuses for all the reasons why I didn't like my body, why I wasn’t more successful,  still single, why Ididn’t go out more often or why after eleven years,  I still had a hard time asking my clients to pay me for services rendered. 

I don’t have low self esteem issues and I don’t have social anxiety.  What I do have is, I have a lot of unbridled thoughts, thoughts that have run through my mind like a commentary and have convinced me over the years that I have a problem or a series of problems for that matter and until I fix these problems, point B or the things I want and don’t have, will be just out of reach. It actually feelsfunny and at the same time freeing to say this.

“Unbridled thoughts?” See, there I go thinking again. I believed, for the most part,  my thinking was pretty much on course, structured and limited to only what would keep me moving in a positive direction. If something wasn’t going right, I had a prayer for it. If I wanted this to happen, I had an affirmation.  My anecdote for anything and everything was to have perfect thoughts, and if something wasn’t working out, well, then maybe I needed to find a better more concise affirmation. Perhaps I needed a longer gratitude list or I needed to word my intention in just the right way so to make sure God fully understood what it was I was intending to have happen. 

When I stopped thinking so damn much, that is when my life really began to shift. Let me repeat, When I stopped thinking so damn much, that is when my life really began to shift. People spend years trying to get tuned back in to this innate wisdom, the wisdom that is there inside of all of us if we will just stop long enough to recognize its presence.  So many of the things we are striving for, love, connectedness, peace and happiness are already in us.  Until then, when something is wrong, we think, I must need a new strategy. I’m feeling negative. Opps, I forgot to do my morning affirmations. Efffff! I didn’t do my daily meditation. Great! Now I for sure have to wait until at least tomorrow to see if my dreams are going to manifest. How stressful is all this? Haha. I chuckle because when I really start to look at it, it’s really stressful. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t. 

So as not to fully discount all the work I’ve been doing to better myself. It is not bad. In fact, I’d say a lot of things transpired as a result of many of these practices I have become accustomed to, but in my attempt to be more spiritual, I felt myself becoming more cut-off and limited in my beliefs, and rather than enjoy my life more, I was enjoying it less.   So then, why is finding peace not more peaceful? Because of that very thought. The thought that says, we have to find peace. So long as we think we have to find it, we see it as something to be attained, a state of being in the future we are still striving for.  We have tried so hard for years to live by the wisdom of others, reading this book, listening to this sermon or going to that workshop, we have forgotten that there is a wisdom inside us that is always available. We have a source, 24/7/365, that has all the answers. Herein,  lies our peace. When we sit down, relax and recognize that peace is already there within us, we are at peace.

Mind. Your. Muscles.

Love and Lunges, 

Sara

Sara Rufener

Real Women Have Muscles, 1000-1198 NE 1st St, Bend, OR, 97701